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About Literature / Hobbyist Core Member Won't Be An American IdiotFemale/United States Recent Activity
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What happened to Nate?
What was his fate?
Why did they choose you
On that midnight summer hue?

Why did they leave on the side of the road?
As your heart and lungs slowed?
How did they do it, did they cut you up?
Why did they make you drink from a death cup?

Where was I when this was happening to you?
What was I doing whilst you were turning blue?
How could I sleep, while you were executed?
Why was it you, but I was excluded?

I felt it you know, the first cut
I felt it oh so sharp, deep in my gut.
I cried when you met death
I heard your final, painful breath.

I awoke with a start what happened to Nate
Never again will I think straight.
You'll live on inside my soul
While you're dead deep somewhere in a hole.

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He reaches over and strokes me like a cat.
I stretch out my spine, I really like that.
He plays with my hair wraps me around his finger
I stand, hands on hips, like an old gun slinger.

He comes to me, grabs me slowly we dance
We are quiet, moving together in a trance.
Deep sensual kisses, eyes slammed shut
He reaches around slowly caresses my butt.

Suddenly

There is a soulful scream and clatter
Cups are thrown, dishes shatter.
A man is there, a look of hateful lust
I know this man, him I trust.

it'll be ok
     it'll be ok
         it'll be ok


He moves towards us, question in his eyes
All of a sudden the deepest part of me dies.
He pries us apart, my lover and I
The man sets me on the bed...I see his disguise.

My lover stands alone, whines and cries
My husband looks at him and loudly sighs.
He takes my lover to the living room
Hammers and pliers speak of doom.

I stand up against the wall
I will not stumble, I will not fall.
He ties up my lover to a fluffy chair
My lover trembles he looks at me with a glare.

I shrug, it's really no big deal
Yet still, I know how this will feel.
Crack! Goes his knees with nary a care
My husband loves to see our affair.

It started long before we were married
The first one we teased before he was buried.
Now...now...here we are again
It won't be long until we begin.

I get the whips and the gag ball
Minute by minute the cradle will fall
Into his mouth the ball gag goes
Carefully dear breathe out your nose.

Slashing through the whip slaps
Kind of like a big baby claps.
The man is bleeding more than he should
Happening quicker than I thought it would.

The man, my lover, is just a ball of blood
Out of his body is a massive flood.
Given forty-four lashes
Slowly his heart collapses.

Time to dig yet another hole
Deep in the ground lover goes.
I will not miss him not even a bit
Slowly we lower him into the pit.

Oh, yes there's always more
Men love a beautiful whore.
A wave of a hand, a wiggle of the hip
Into my arms they quickly skip.

There will be more I promise this
It's so easy it starts with a simple kiss.
I Tried To Write You A Love Poem
but I never get that far, I just can't.
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she walks down the crowded street
sun drinched pavement grabs her feet
she tried to run, with no place to go
the cement is soft, soft like dough.

up goes one foot, then another
pulls up a knee, then the other
finally the sun goes down
the beach becomes a ghost town

she longs to run so far away
pulling her legs in a bizzare ballet
finally free!  she starts to run
but oh, what's this? a man with a gun

he reaches out and grabs her hair
what will he do to our sweet claire
she tries to run she tries so hard
soon enough she'll be scarred

you can hear her scream a mile away
they'll find her body in the bay
he carves her like the david
her attacker is quite jaded

a little cut here and a rip there
leaves pieces of sweet clair every where
her eyes roll back she no longer sees
he gives her body a final squeeze

it wont be long until shes found
he tries to make it look like she drowned
nobody will buy it he must know
she isn't out far enough to be caught in the undertow

the next day a lady out running her dog
she can barely makes her out in the deep fog
but our sweet claire ripped to pieces
the womans fear quickly increases

claire lies there staring at nothing
body torn up but yet shes still blushing
with eyes staring up to the sky
always questoning why oh why
What sort of feel or mood do you get from this? I thought it was kind of surreal and a bit creep. But! I LOVE creepy...in a way that it was disturbing that they were buying people.
What sort of tone does this convey? It's almost like he 'needed' more people. Is that a status symbol?
Did I describe the surroundings well enough for you to visualize? YES you really did. I felt gross thinking about Josh.
Did I describe the clerk well? I think so, you really went into detail with Josh, maybe you could go into him a little more.
Did I describe Josh well? Yes! I think you did a real good job showing Josh to me.
Could you see things? Yes, I really could.
How did this flow?It flowed very well. Sometimes I stumble over certain parts of poetry/prose. But I didn't this time.
What impression do you get of the clerk? I just mostly felt like he was trying to do his job while maybe trying to stop Josh from so many purchases.
What impression do you get of Josh? I felt while he might be a little gueasy he was a man who knew what he wanted and how to get it.
Please feel free to share other thoughts you may have. You mentioned a Jack who is that?
 just poured bleach down my forehead through my eyes, UP my nose, In my mouth and down my chest and hips. It was a lot of bleach!!! It hurts so bad. And of course I ruined my shirt, bra and shorts. My eye burns so bad.

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TheFlawedOne
Won't Be An American Idiot
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Current Residence: California
Favourite genre of music: Beatles and Oldies
Personal Quote: People say I have no heart, but I have the heart of a small child, on my desk.
Interests
  • Mood: Love
  • Listening to: TV
  • Reading: Impulse
  • Watching: Reba
  • Playing: nothing
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: coke
My friend is having a super hard time.  She needs shoes because hers have holes in them.  Even though she has MS she's a hard worker for Wal-Mart.  So I bought some shoes from Amazon and they are being sent to her.  She lives about a thousand miles from me.  She was my best friend "back in the day."  So I'm so happy I can help her!

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Comments


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:iconpaintedsunshine:
PaintedSunshine Featured By Owner 2 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Hi TheFlawedOne! Just wanted to drop in and be the first to welcome you to the group :iconpoetryforall:!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to either note me or one of the other admin. We will always get back to you as soon as possible. Aww

Also be sure to check in with us weekly for writing prompts and for our first contest! Contest details are now posted in the group journal and can be found at ~ Scripturient Scribbles (First Contest!) ~. We'd love for you to participate! Heart 

I look forward to reading some of your work and seeing you around the group! Hi!
PS - So sorry for the extremely late welcome!! ^^; Life has been getting away from me lately.
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:iconmeanbreeddave:
MeanbreedDave Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant
Cheers for another fave! As always, you're awesome! Hug 
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:icontheflawedone:
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
No you're awesome!  I really enjoy talking to you.  I like learning about the UK and you too!
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:iconmeanbreeddave:
MeanbreedDave Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New Deviant
Wahoo! You too, pal. How's your day been, anyhoo? Hope you're good. :D
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:icontheflawedone:
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
I'm good.  It's still hot.  My eyes burns because last night I was doing laundry and I didn't put the bleach lid on.  As I put it up it spilled all over my face and down my shirt.  I'm ok now.  Ruined my shirt but thank god it was not my Yankees shirt!

How are you doing?
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(1 Reply)
:iconbaileyalice222:
baileyalice222 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the watch :D
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:icontheflawedone:
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Yup no problem.
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:iconfarand:
Farand Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Yowza, you've been here for a loooong time! :shocked:
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:icontheflawedone:
TheFlawedOne Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, but for most of the years I wasn't on.  I just came back a few months ago.
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:iconfarand:
Farand Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Oh, I see :nod:
I've done that too :paranoid: :giggle:
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