This Is Not A Love Story

This is a story of life, death and loss.  But this is not a love story.  If you are looking for a love story, please, look else where.


I first met Jashep when I was six and he was eight.  A boy named Able Cain had me pinned down in the sandbox, straddling me on either side of my chest.  He was shoving sand into my shirt, my hair, my mouth.  All of a sudden felt him tumble off of me and there he was.  Jashep.  He had wavy blond hair and short stubby fingers.  He was lean and lanky.  He told me to get up out of the dirt and I obeyed.  I looked in wonder at his clear blue eyes.  Eventually I was able to form thoughts and I spit out a wad of sand and spit.  

Jashep looked at me and told me to never spit in public again and forcefully told me to go rinse my mouth and clean myself up.  I obeyed just like I always do, it is what is expected of me and females throughout the world.  We do what we're told.

As Jashep and I grew up we became good friends.  He had a tender spot in my heart and always will.  He saved me from the evil Able Cain and that was good.  When I wasn't doing my chores or working in the fields or taking care of my baby brothers Jashep and I were together.  We'd fish, or walk or make up silly stories.

We grew closer and closer and took risks we shouldn't have taken. It was not acceptable for a boy and girl to be friends unless they were to be married.  Jashep and I could not marry since his parents had money and mine were average.  You just didn't marry out of your social status like that.  

His father did allow us one date however.  It was the best night of my life. Since women are not allowed to go to any public place with out a male chaperone, my mother and father took me out the weekend before and bought the most fancy dress she could find.  It was very expensive and I was both embrassed and guilty for such a high priced item.  My mother said to me "you are taking this dress and that's final".  When my mother says 'that's final' it is.  It really was beautiful.  It was a princess style dress and it was a rich blue with rhinestones on the neck line.  I instantly loved it.  When I put it on I felt like a princess.  I'd never seen a princess but I imagine that's what it felt like.

On the night of the dance Jashep arrived looking dashing.  He had on a black suit that had a very nice cut.  His clear blue eyes danced when they saw me!  I was blushing like you wouldn't beleive.  My hair was up with ringlets framing my face.  I wore minimal make up.  My mother swore I didn't need it.  I believed her.  My mother never lied.  My brothers, Samuel and Samson both looked at me like I was an alien fallen from the sky above.  They both stuttered and said "Mina you look so pretty!  Who knew under all that dirt there was a girl".  I gave Samuel a swift kick to the shin.  My father didn't even correct me.

When we went outside there was a huge car, a type I've never seen before.  People in our neighborhood got around on bikes.  A man stood by the back door and opened it for me.  Jashep had to push me forward.  I was not used to a man waiting on me.  Women waited on men and never the other way.  We got in the car and it smelled like something I can't even explain.  Kind of like evergreen combined with Irish soap.  It was literally heaven.

We got to the ballroom in no time.  I was once again amazed by how beautiful every thing was.  I knew no one from this crowd of people other than Jashep.  I saw envious looks from amazingly beautiful women.  I was not in my element.  My element was out in the fields.  We had a sparkling drink that I don't know the name of but it made me feel even better than I did before, it also helped calm my nerves.  I was shaking so bad I thought the dance floor would split up.

After a few dances Jashep took me outside for a talk.  He told me he cared for me very much and even called me "my Mina".  Nobody ever called me that!  He stroked my hair, and pushed it out of my eyes.  Then he gently kissed my forehead, that was my first kiss from a boy.  Then he moved to my lips.  I wasn't sure I knew how to kiss correctly but nobody broke their nose or busted a tooth so I think we did ok.  As he kissed me, I felt a slow warmth from my feet up to my belly.  I've never felt like that before or since.  

Finally the evening was over and it was time to go home.  The driver took us back and Jashep walked me to the door and said good night to me and my parents.  I was floating.  I was so happy.  I knew it was only one time but I was glad for the night.  Jashep left and I was felt more alone than I ever did even though my family was around me asking questions I didn't quite know how to answer.


CHAPTER TWO

The next day the entire world started to change.  I was getting ready for work, my mother was ready for her job in the coal mines.  Someone knocked at our door at about six in the morning.  My father answered the door, women never open the door unless nobody else was around to do it.  

The news was not good, then again when someone knocks that early it never is.  My father came back with his face white as a linen sheet.  He had tears in his eyes and walked to the bathroom and I think I heard him vomit.

"Family," he said, "Come in here, we must talk."

We all ran into the kitchen to see what could possibly be so bad.  He looked at each one of us for a moment.  I don't know about the others but it chilled me to the bone.

"Both Grandfathers have passed away last night" he said to a shocked family.  My mother cried out and fell to the floor.  My brothers were young, six and eight.  I don't think they quite understood but I did.  I knew what it meant and I didn't like it one bit.  But then who would?

The goverment has cars that they will loan to the lower classes in cases of emergencies. Lower classes are not allowed cars.  My father set off on the ten mile bike ride to the carport and picked up a cheap car.  We made the two hour drive in silence each of us lost in memories.

We arrived at the Men's Elder Care Center at about three in the afternoon.  We were taken into a terribly cold room.  There were seven bodies on metal tables.  The nurse showed us to our family members.  We thanked her and she left us to mourn alone.  My mother instantly threw her body across her father's body.  The boys were suddenly frightened and did not say one word.  My mother sobbed in a way I never heard.  She had a miscarriage a few years back and she didn't even cry like that then.  

My father, on the other hand, was quiet and refined.  He held on to his father's hand with a single tear streaking his face.  My father just did not cry.  I should have known then that worse times were to come.


Chapter Three

Two days after saying good bye to the Grandfather's my father took ill.  My mother was sure it was because he was near his father and got sick.  My mother took the day off from the coal mine.  I still had to go out to the fields and work.  I was allowed one day to mourn then back to work.  I was pulling weeds from the tomato lines when my brother Samuel came running to me.  I was surprised to see him.

"Sam, what are you doing here? You can get me in trouble!"

Sam was breathing heavely and said "Daddy....daddy...daddy."  Poor six year old Sam.

"Sam, what's wrong with Daddy?"

"He's taken sick, Mina!  It's bad there's blood coming out of his mouth when he coughs!"

I grabbed Samuel's hand and ran home.  I didn't even check out, I just left.  We made it home in about thirty minutes.  My mother grabbed my shoulders and said "It's happening to him!  He's sick...he's dying Mina."

I pushed my mother to the side and ran to my Daddy.  "Daddy?  Are you ok?  Daddy?  DADDY!?"

Daddy never answered us.

Then we heard something outside and went to the window to look out.  A man was yelling "Bring out your dead!"  I opened the door, another law broken, and asked what the hell he was talking about.  He told me that men were dying all over town and he was collecting them to take to the creamatoriam.  I stumbled back a bit when I saw his cart.  My teacher was in there, our doctor, the men that work in the stores.  Men from all around town.  My mother had me help her take my father out to the pile.  I couldn't stand it.  I only did it because I was afraid my brothers were in the house and it was not safe if the diease could be passed so easily.